Dear Jodi,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but Our romance is over. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in the bathtub at the mental hospital and I saw you carve your initials into my illegitimate child in Ghana. I'm sure you're sterile enough to understand that your driving sucks. I'm returning your nose hair clippersto you, but I'll keep the results of that blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I never will forget that night and Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird.
Go milk a cow, Karissa
HERE'S HOW YOU DO IT:
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think